Apolo! Short-track speedskating rocks. No, correct that — short-track speedskating rawks. Just got back from Ohno’s rockin’ eve. Short-track gets your heart racing a mile a minute. I don’t know if TV showed it or not, but the Korean who got DQ’d threw a big fit on the ice, throwing his national flag down onto the ice and gesturing pathetically to the crowd like some WWF villain. It was great. I would love to run short-track. Perhaps I should learn to skate first.

Have I mentioned that I’ve reached the conclusion that Canadians are, on the whole, the most attractive creatures on Earth? And I’m not just talking Jamie Sale here. The Canadian short-track relay team is a wonder to behold. Mmmm…Isabelle Charest. Women’s short-track relay (or actually, as the official Olympics term has it, “Ladies’” short-track relay — what’s up with that?) looks like some 19th-century French sexual fetish come to life. Even at the Olympic rodeo, the Canadian women in the audience were gorgeous, albeit in an Olympic rodeo sort of way. No offense, Yankee ladies, but you’ve got some competition from up north.

20 February 2002

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