More evidence that M&M is hiding something. (For background, see here, here, here, and here.)

Kelly, who was long ago outed as a skeptic when it comes to my tireless M&M research, decided to take matters into her own hands by sending an email to the M&M junta itself:

TO:

The M&Ms(R) Team

M&Ms

800 High Street

Hackettstown, NJ 07840

FROM:

Kelly Lecker

RE: Your M&Ms Reference # is 1309379

I have a question for M&Ms®.

I love your product, but can you please explain to me why the company is trying to change the colors of the M&M? My friend is convinced the propaganda around the last vote was heavy toward blue, because it’s the color the company wanted, and he wonders if the vote was fair. He wishes you could add colors without taking away others, and frankly he’s still bitter about removing tan. He likes tan.

I hope you can help with this and I hope to hear back soon. Thanks.

Despite her usual general wrongheadedness, a straightforward search for answers. She quickly got a token response (“Thanks for your Question on M&Ms®. We are working to answer your Question as soon as possible. We will respond within 1 week”). That was last Wednesday.

Then, today, she gets her response:

In response to your email regarding M&M’S CHOCOLATE CANDIES GLOBAL COLOR VOTE PROMOTION

Red and Yellow are excited to be giving consumers all over the world the opportunity to vote once again for their favorite color, seven years after voting for blue. This year the choices will be: purple, pink and aqua. The color with the most votes will be added to the current blend of red, yellow, orange, green, blue and brown for a limited time. Only one of the three colors will be previewed in specially marked packages, providing consumers the opportunity to view each of the choices with the rest of the

colors.

There are three ways to cast your vote:

[contact information deleted — wouldn’t want to encourage participation]

We hope you will let the world hear your vote!

Sincerely,

M&M/MARS

Consumer Affairs

In other words, a token non-answer. I could play Kremlinologist and parse each phrase of their “response,” checking to see what the meaning of “is” is, but the biggest question is: who appointed Red and Yellow the leaders of the M&M pack? Let’s look past, for a moment, the naked fact that these are in fact colored candies, not sentient beings with the capacity for excitement. Let’s play along for a moment. Who put Red and Yellow in charge?

On one hand, I’m pleased to see Yellow have some authority, since I’d feared it might be the color to get the axe when the newcomer gets shoved in the pack. (Yellow just seems far too tan-like, and we all know what happened to tan.) But I wonder about Red — sent out of the pack in a Stalinist purge within my own lifetime, yet suddenly back in control. Who did Red pay off? Was it Red who took out the hit on poor, noble tan? Is this power a debt being repaid?

More questions without answers. All I know is this: I’ve registered candycoatedjustice.org. Soon, there will be an opportunity for all of us to discover the answers.

01 April 2002

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