A few things I’ve been storing up to link these last few weeks.

When pointy-toed shoes attack: “A few well-heeled women are even requesting surgery such as toe shortening and nail narrowing to lessen the pain without reducing their fashion quotient. Other remedies include collagen injections that add temporary padding to the soles of the feet.”

Trendsetter: “Michael Jackson…arrives at the Santa Barbara airport yesterday wearing pajama pants - while carrying an umbrella, a fishing rod and an electric fan.”

Donut demands: “The 17-year-old had received and eaten a free doughnut from Krispy Kreme, 7501 Peach St., about 7:30 p.m. Sunday. The teenager stepped back into line and asked for another free doughnut…When a Krispy Kreme employee refused to give him one, the boy left. The teen returned a short time later with a McDonald’s bag covering his head, with eyeholes torn out so he could see. He stepped back into line and asked for a free doughnut. When he was refused again, the teen fell to the floor, flailed his arms and legs, and demanded a free doughnut.”

A bright Lem Lom: “Police say tracking this thief was a snap. The loot was a computerized tracking device that uses the global positioning system and Internet technology to keep track of jail prisoners on home detention. ‘He apparently didn’t know what he had because he would be awfully stupid to steal a tracking device,’ said correctional officer Thomas Roth, who runs the home detention program at the Rock County Jail.”

Stoooooopid: “A young man who told friends he wanted to jump from a moving car to earn a tattoo leapt from a Subaru at 40 mph Monday afternoon and died almost instantly….He had told two friends in the car that he planned to jump…But the friends didn’t think he would do it…’The person who jumped had been telling his friends for the last month that he needed to jump from a moving car so he could have a traumatic incident in his life so he could get a tattoo,’ [the cop] said.”

No comment: “A Department of Motor Vehicles employee reported to police Tuesday that she received a suspicious postcard from a customer that showed a banana being shot with the wording ‘(banana=DMV).’ Investigators are trying to locate the man for questioning…The employee told police, Moxley said, that the man approached her at 3:20 p.m. to have his license application processed and when he was asked for proof of address he handed her the odd postcard. ‘We don’t know what the significance was,’ [police chief Clagett Moxley] said. ‘The gentleman made no threats. He used no inappropriate language. We were advised he was calm in nature.’…When employees walked outside to get the man’s vehicle tag numbers, they found a bunch of bananas thrown around the DMV parking lot.

“‘This is a different one,’ [Moxley] said.”

17 September 2003

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