Back-door method to get me to like your band: Have at least one song about structural problems of the American health care system.

It worked for Ted Leo (“Heart Problems”): “You got a problem with your heart / Follow the line down your left arm / If there’s no money in your left hand (If there’s no money in the palm of your left hand) / You could be pulled apart…You can’t write a song that’s gonna help / Your health…I got a problem with my sight / I’d like to say ‘We’ll see it right’ / But when you can’t afford a broken nose / How can you afford to fight?” Followed by a minute or so of reciting prescription-drug brands (Desipramine, Mexiletine, and the hard-to-rhyme Quetuaoube).

And it worked for Troubled Hubble (“Ear, Nose & Throat”): “Who will help me and my kids? With their medicine. Monitor. Bacteria. Doctor. Sit back and watch all the money roll in through a stethoscope…If only the needs of the many outweighed the few.” Followed by a rousing appeal for single-payer health-care: “Oh Canada! Otolaryngology ain’t right for me, if it’s not free. Wealthy equals healthy.”

I think this health-care-rock trend is ready to take off. The next Metallica album will feature a hidden track on choosing between an HMO and a PPO. The reunited Pink Floyd will play a track on federal catastrophic insurance. Coldplay will change their name to Coldeeze.

I am such a dork.

13 June 2005

Comments

No comments yet.

Post a comment