This post is for two groups of crabwalk.com readers: Canadians and Louisianans, particularly geeky types ages 20 to 35.
Does this sound familiar?
It may be just 10 seconds of weird synth burbling, but oh! the memories it brings back! That’s the theme song for Parlez-Moi, one of the most bizarre and memorable programs of my youth.
In it, great Canadian clown (there’s a phrase you weren’t expecting to read today) Marc Favreau portrays the sad clown Sol, who gets into a series of wacky adventures — most of them involving him goodnaturedly screwing something up. Episodes included “Sol Minds the Fruit Store,” “Sol at the Hairdresser’s,” and the thriller “Sol and the Tomatoes.”
The key thing was that Sol would have his misadventures in French — then Marc Favreau would come out and tell the audience what all the words meant in English. Real learning! It was originally produced by TVOntario to heal the linguistic divisions of our great northern neighbor, but in the 1980s, Louisiana Public Broadcasting licensed the rights and showed it to impressionable youth like me. (A variety of political forces were advocating for building a new generation of francophones back then.) Anybody else remember this?
Not that I knew it at the time, but apparently Sol was originally a political clown.
While I’m rummaging through childhood memories, here’s the theme to Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings. (More.)
30 June 2005 |
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My story from today’s front page: “Wilmer-Hutchins schools will shut down for the next year, district leaders decided Monday night, and their teachers, principals and librarians are out of work. But the district received an unexpected lifeline from its state managers that could bring the district back from the dead in one year’s time.”
28 June 2005 |
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Remember when I mentioned a couple weeks ago that crabwalk.com had somehow been mentioned on the General Achievement Test given to graduating Australian high schoolers?
Well, I snagged a copy of the test from the authorities down under, and it’s true! The test features a reading passage from superstar blogger and Friend of Crabwalk Maud Newton. It’s an adaptation of a piece she wrote for Maisonneuve about how she got into blogging. It highlights the “blend of mild exhibitionism and cultural commentary” Maud seems to think I produce here.
Anyway, scans of the passage and questions: page 1 and page 2.
By the far the best question: “The writer suggests that Josh Benton’s website was worthwhile mainly because it was: (a) scholarly, (b) excessive, (c) subversive, (d) interactive.”
I leave the answer to that one up to the reader. Write-in votes for “(e) Benton’s site is not actually worthwhile” will be considered.
28 June 2005 |
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Homeless shelters are not generally good sources of humor, but then again, most aren’t named The Glory Hole. See if you can guess the context for the following three quotes, all taken from the linked story:
“I will eat whatever you put in front of me.”
“We serve a lot of guys who need protein to get their days going.”
“We didn’t know that it is illegal.”
28 June 2005 |
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Welcome to the second installment of a burgeoning tradition here on crabwalk.com: Who Dat Drummer?
As I said not long ago: “It’s my attempt, the day after attending a fine indie-rock show, to describe the appearance of the performing bands’ drummers in terms of other historical or contemporary figures. Drummers are, of course, the quiet showboats of indie rock — free to cultivate a sartorial or facial-hair strangeness, but not burdened by the attempts at prettyness required of frontmen.”
I’m a couple days late, but:
- Spoon (drummer Jim Eno): 60 percent Dudley Moore, 40 percent Davy Jones.
Thank you for playing Who Dat Drummer?
(Aside: Spoon rocked something fierce. I was a little worried, since I’d only seen them once before and was disappointed — and there’s nothing worse than seeing a band you love live for the first time and being disappointed. Okay, there are worse things. Like psoriasis. But back to Spoon — this time they were terrific. Britt Daniel has an oddly courtly manner with an audience, and Jim Eno is really a terrific drummer. That man could summon the gods with those big ol’ timpani mallets.)
28 June 2005 |
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Um, ewwww. Ninety-nine percent of the time, when editors kvetch about whether a certain photo is too disturbing to put on the front page, I say publish it. This time, I’m not so sure.
27 June 2005 |
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Here’s my column from today’s paper. The subject: Is private school a waste of money?
27 June 2005 |
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In Search Of: The Next DJ Shadow. Funny because it’s true! Nails several of the candidates really well musically, too. RJD2 (“looks a little overly-British”) and Diplo (“a little too ‘ethnic’”) are the two most logical options.
27 June 2005 |
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Interviews with Tim Mooney and Mark Eitzel, drummer and singer/songwriter/guitarist (respectively) of American Music Club, the band whose 1991 song gives this site its name.
The Tim interview is nothing special, but the Mark interview sums up everything I love about every interview Mark has given in the last 20 years. It’s got it all, starting with the slavering fanboy attitude of the interviewer. (Mark is beloved by critics, less so by the record-buying public.)
The token strangeness that is Mark’s life: “I’ve had, like, the weirdest night of my whole life. This millionaire who owns Maxim magazine funded this poetry reading, and they had like eight different kinds of this really expensive French wine. All in a corporate environment. So strange. He’s the owner of Maxim, and he’s a poet. Go figure.”
The obligatory self-loathing: “Q: I’d just like to tell you that when you played ‘Home’ at Bumbershoot, I almost cried. A: Because you felt sorry for me?” And: “Q: Well, it was a great show. A: A lot of people got up and left.”
The silly anti-Americanism: “I think the problem is America. It’s over…Over as a force that transcends the world…America was a wonderful place. But this new government is different. It’s not America, it’s fascist.”
The “my music is crap” meme: “Q: I was looking at the lyrics for ‘I’m in Heaven Now.’ A: I’m so embarrassed by that song. Q: I really love the line, ‘It’s the theme park of my dreams.’ A: Oh, come on. ‘Michael Jackson’s on his knees.’ I’m so embarrassed I wrote that song. I don’t want Michael Jackson giving me head. Not with that mouth.”
The weird-for-such-an-uncommercial-artist obsession with money: “I have to change my life pretty soon, because I know this will never make me money anymore…Or maybe not. Who knows? Maybe I can write a song like that ‘I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt’ song, and keep it going.”
The rapid mood swing: “I just hate it. It’s wrong. And it’s taken me all this time to… hey, but you know what? You know what I’m doing right now? I’ve had all this fabulous French wine, and now I’m driving around in a Ford Mustang, and it’s the best car ever built! I’m in this fabulous fuckin’ Mustang with a V-8 engine that’s fuckin’ HUGE! And it’s so much fun.”
The alcoholism: “Hey… I’m sorry. I’m so drunk, I’ve had all this really fine wine.”
Hello, networks: A Mark Eitzel reality show would be the best television program of all time.
27 June 2005 |
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A crabwalk.com global exclusive: Sufjan Stevens’ cover of The Star-Spangled Banner, recorded in Toronto last November. Kick ass.
26 June 2005 |
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Hello, crabwalk.com reader checking in from the law firm of Vial, Hamilton, Koch & Knox! Dawn, is that you? Drop me a line, whoever you are…
23 June 2005 |
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Lots of buzz yesterday about this story (and the accompanying video). Texas Gov. Rick Perry, after doing a TV interview, said “Adios, mofo” while the cameras continued to roll.
Amusing stuff. But more amusing was this conversation between some of my colleagues in the newsroom (and I am not making this up):
Editor: What does “mofo” mean, anyway?
Reporter #1: It’s a bad word for black people, I think.
Reporter #2: (overhearing the conversation, somewhat stunned) Actually, it means “motherfucker.”
Editor: Oh, in Spanish?
23 June 2005 |
5 comments
A decades-late “damn you!” to Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground, for embedding in their song “The Murder Mystery” a recurring sound that exactly mimics the ringtone of my cell phone. Damn you!
22 June 2005 |
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Mickey Kaus reviews my new car. I love my Mazda 3, but I nod in agreement at his thoughts on cornering — it’s got a wide turning radius that takes some getting used to.
I take pride in being a pretty good parker — it’s amazing the things one can form a self-image on; for me it’s parking skill and George Foreman Grill jujitsu — but when I got the Mazda I became the world’s worst parker for a few weeks. Turning into narrow spots was an adventure there for a while.
22 June 2005 |
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When the Mountain Goats’ The Sunset Tree came out a couple months ago, I was a bit disappointed — seemed a little dull. But another listen on the road back from Louisiana Monday made me revise that review: It’s no Tallahassee, sure, but it’s still quite affecting.
Here head Goat John Darnielle does a haiku-only interview about the album, song by song. It’s a silly conceit, but kinda funny, particularly when John’s answers start getting a little uppity with the 5-7-5-spouting interviewer. When asked to explain the central image of “Magpie”: “Only a traitor / undresses his metaphors / As if they were whores.” When asked if one song describes a youthful “escape” from pain into music: “All interviewers / Seem to like this word ‘escape’ / For this song: me, less.”
22 June 2005 |
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Bill Block Sr. passed away yesterday at 89. Bill was a grand old newspaperman and, simply, a grand old man. His family owns The Toledo Blade, my former employer, so I got to know Bill a bit over the last decade. First met him in Toledo in 1996; last had dinner with him in Pittsburgh last summer. The P-G editorial calls him “an uncommonly good man,” and I think that’s right — he was pure of heart, an honest and graceful and kind fellow who, despite his riches, refused to put on airs. My condolences to the family.
21 June 2005 |
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You know you’ve made it as a rock star-turned-writer when you write a travel piece for the NYT and there isn’t a line at the end that says: “Dave Bidini plays rhythm guitar for the Rheostatics.”
My latest Wilmer-Hutchins story, from today’s front page.
21 June 2005 |
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In the Oh-My-God-This-Is-So-Useless-But-So-Awesome Dept.: DittyBot for Mac OS X.
“You send a text message from your mobile phone to your POP email account. Your text message should contain the keywords of a song title (and possibly an artist name) that you want to hear. DittyBot finds that email (he checks Mail every 45 seconds) and copies the song name into a text file. The song name is then copied into iTunes and a playlist is created from your search. Next, DittyBot loads Skype (the internet telephony app) and begins calling your mobile phone. Your mobile phone rings and when you pick it up, you should hear your song start playing in all its compressed glory. DittyBot will play your selection to you over your phone until you hang up. Mind you, this all should happen within 1 minute of sending your song request (depending on the speed of your POP server). Sometimes it’s even quicker!”
17 June 2005 |
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Saintsdoggle, a blog devoted to the bizarre relocation lust of New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson. Who dat say dey gonna move dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat?
Here’s my story from today’s front page, on what may be the impending demise of the Wilmer-Hutchins school district, the folks I’ve been writing about for ever.
I’ve been bad about linking to my stories lately — an oversight that has surely led to riots in the streets. For instance, here’s my story from the June 9 front page, on surprisingly poor results on the state TAKS test for fifth graders.
There could be big news coming soon from crabwalk.com HQ. Then again, there might not. (Vague enough?)
I’m off to Louisiana for the weekend. Catch you on the flip side.
17 June 2005 |
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I expect all my SoCal readers to head to the O.C. next month and moon passing Amtrak trains.
How to make your own root beer. Notice the importance of using Louisiana products. (While you’re shopping for Zatarain’s foodstuffs, their creole mustard is damned good, and their crab boil ain’t bad, either.)
Friend-of-Crabwalk Teresa exposes the Copper-River-salmon backlash.
16 June 2005 |
2 comments
Back-door method to get me to like your band: Have at least one song about structural problems of the American health care system.
It worked for Ted Leo (“Heart Problems”): “You got a problem with your heart / Follow the line down your left arm / If there’s no money in your left hand (If there’s no money in the palm of your left hand) / You could be pulled apart…You can’t write a song that’s gonna help / Your health…I got a problem with my sight / I’d like to say ‘We’ll see it right’ / But when you can’t afford a broken nose / How can you afford to fight?” Followed by a minute or so of reciting prescription-drug brands (Desipramine, Mexiletine, and the hard-to-rhyme Quetuaoube).
And it worked for Troubled Hubble (“Ear, Nose & Throat”): “Who will help me and my kids? With their medicine. Monitor. Bacteria. Doctor. Sit back and watch all the money roll in through a stethoscope…If only the needs of the many outweighed the few.” Followed by a rousing appeal for single-payer health-care: “Oh Canada! Otolaryngology ain’t right for me, if it’s not free. Wealthy equals healthy.”
I think this health-care-rock trend is ready to take off. The next Metallica album will feature a hidden track on choosing between an HMO and a PPO. The reunited Pink Floyd will play a track on federal catastrophic insurance. Coldplay will change their name to Coldeeze.
I am such a dork.
13 June 2005 |
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The new Sufjan Stevens album won’t officially be out until July 5, but you can get it shipped to you today if you order it direct from the label.
And it’s $10! Best $10 you’ll spend today, I warrant. This’ll be on many Album of the Year lists come December.
(And, for only $7 more, you can add this so-ugly-it-approaches-a-sort-of-beauty poster.)
MP3s: Casimir Pulaski Day, gorgeous and sad; The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts, an ode to Superman that’s as close as Sufjan gets to rocking out; John Wayne Gacy, Jr. (“And in my best behavior / I am really just like him / Look beneath the floor boards / For the secrets I have hid”). Full album lyrics here (end of page).
13 June 2005 |
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I’ve now had two Australians write to inform me that this site — this very web site, crabwalk.com — was somehow part of the Australian General Achievement Test this year.
I’m still awaiting details, but I imagine that something here was used as a reading passage in the test. Judging by last year’s test, they don’t mind taking cues from pop culture. (“Question 20. Homer makes Bart donate blood: (A) as a moral act, (B) to get a reward, (C) to discipline Bart, (D) to create a warm moment.”)
I cannot tell you how unspeakably cool this is.
13 June 2005 |
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When Lonely Planet readers go bad. “Cyclotouriste” has a whiff of Ignatius J. Reilly about him — if Ignatius were a better swearer.
09 June 2005 |
3 comments
One year ago today, my grandmother Mazie died. It’s been a strange year since.
08 June 2005 |
3 comments
Hello, Chicago! I will be coming to your fair city Thursday evening for an ever-so-brief stay. (Landing at Midway at 8:20 p.m., staying here and flying out the next afternoon after talking to these nice folks.)
Any crabwalk readers interested in a beer/dinner/whatever should drop me a line (jbenton at toast dot net). Circus clowns are particularly encouraged to apply.
07 June 2005 |
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I have achieved my blog ambition: to be named a “blog of interest” by The Independent back home in Louisiana. I’m flattered, even if their phrasing is suspiciously close to the “person of interest” wording law enforcement agencies use when they mean “the guy we’re pretty sure strangled that family of four, even if we don’t have the proof yet.”
Thanks to the folks I presume are responsible for this, Ind big dogs Scott Jordan and Reese Fuller (who needs to update his site).
The current Ind has a great piece by Friend of Crabwalk Mary Tutwiler (whose husband was my high school English teacher). It’s on the complex historical bond between Cajuns and crawfish. In particular, it gets at the ways in which what we consider “traditional” Cajun culture was actually forged relatively recently — post-World War II.
Fried crawfish and crawfish etouffee, for instance, didn’t arrive until the ’50s and didn’t hit the Cajun mainstream for a while after that. Go look at an old cookbook like the original Tony Chachere’s and you’ll notice a lot of “classic” Cajun dishes are missing; in their place you’ll actually find a lot of more “American” dishes like pork roasts.
There’s a dissertation in here somewhere, but I bet you could prove that Cajun cuisine circa 1930 or so was more similar to other rural Southern cuisines than it is today. The differentiation in food has increased at the same time that the broader-picture culture has become more homogenized. Discuss.
07 June 2005 |
3 comments
Today marks the first installment of what may become a regular feature on crabwalk.com: Who Dat Drummer?
It’s my attempt, the day after attending a fine indie-rock show, to describe the appearance of the performing bands’ drummers in terms of other historical or contemporary figures. Drummers are, of course, the quiet showboats of indie rock — free to cultivate a sartorial or facial-hair strangeness, but not burdened by the attempts at prettyness required of frontmen.
Today’s installment of Who Dat Drummer? features the two bands I saw last night at the Gypsy:
- The Oranges Band (drummer Dave Voyles): Perry Farrell in a Beatle Bob fright wig
- Ted Leo and the Pharmacists (drummer Chris Wilson): Two-thirds Rasputin, one-third unindicted co-conspirator of John Wilkes Booth.
Thank you for playing Who Dat Drummer?
(Aside: Did you realize how frickin’ old Perry Farrell is? Dude is pushing 50.)
(Aside the second: Props to Ted Leo for breaking out a cover of Rush’s “The Spirit of Radio.” Truly a moment of Rock Greatness. The cover of Stiff Little Fingers’ “Suspect Device” was nice, too.)
07 June 2005 |
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Those of you who, like me, miss the glory days of the Dismemberment Plan, may I recommend Troubled Hubble? Same mix of too-literate lyrics, too-tight rhythm section, too-clean DeSoto production, and optimism poking through that thin layer of indie jadedness. A hint more power-pop and a smidge less funk/hip-hop influence, but the D-Plannishness is pretty obvious. (Even before D-Plan guitarist Jason Caddell produced their new album, which was naturally recorded at former D-Plan studio Inner Ear.)
Some MP3s: Ear Nose & Throat, Dulcinea Duct Tape, Understanding Traffic, and Nancy.
They’re coming to Dallas on June 25. Speaking of good shows coming to town, it’s a hell of a month coming up: Ted Leo on June 6, Of Montreal on June 9, Bloc Party on June 9, the Roots on June 11, Neko Case on June 20, Architecture in Helsinki on June 21, Spoon on June 24, and Rogue Wave on June 25.
Individuals who choose not to attend the Ted Leo show, in particular, risk being judged capital-L Lame-o by the management of this web site.
One other idea for entertainment this weekend.
One final note: It’s not out for another month, but Sufjan Stevens’ Illinois is just amazing. Didn’t think he could outdo his Michigan record, but he has.
03 June 2005 |
1 comment
A good interview with the brilliant Hank Stuever of the Post. Hank is the ideal of the Style section sharpened to a fine point and always an engaging, surprising read.
The hook for the interview is his Deep Throat piece, which seems impossibly wise for something probably written in an hour. Best part, of course: “It was possible, our ancestors inform us, to go to a bar and tell a girl that you were a reporter for The Washington Post and she might go home with you. That was part of the allure of the Deep Throat culture — the reporter as chick magnet. (Now she would tell you that she doesn’t really ever look at the paper. Or worse, she only looks at it online.)”
02 June 2005 |
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I love Ben Bradlee, that tough old SOB.
“It’s very hard to stand up to the government which is saying that publication will threaten national security. People don’t seem to realize that reporters and editors know something about national security and care deeply about it. I spent almost four years on a destroyer in the Pacific ocean during World War II and it makes my blood boil when some guy who maybe ran an insurance company in the Midwest becomes an assistant secretary of this or that and tells me about national security.”
02 June 2005 |
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Very sad. The Oasis had really breathtaking views — the kind you don’t think you can get in Texas outside the western mesas. The food was far from special, and the restaurant itself was chintzy, but sipping a couple drinks at sunset, looking out over Lake Travis, was heaven.
02 June 2005 |
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